May. 23rd, 2009

I'm thinking about what I want. About my mistakes and how I've tried to fix them. In some cases it's worked, in some not so much.

I thinking back to what I wrote this winter and about finding peace. Where and when and with who and why.

I'm thinking about writing a poem or a song, I'm thinking that I'm finally falling into a golden moment where everything makes sense and there is no right or wrong. Where the world comes to me in shades of green and black is just a color. A world where I can see your soul and know what those colors mean.

I'm thinking about what sunshine tastes like, wether it's lemon or tea or freshly cooked corn.

I'm wondering what the colors I wear and like say about me. I'm wondering what you see when you play I Spy in my room or my life.

I'm wondering if I'm meant to find love and if so what love is.

I'm thinking about spending the night outside on the lawn just so I can watch the stars. I want to dance outside with someone I love to the sound of nature's music. I want to dance in the rain with you so you can see that I don't know how to dance at all, but I absolutely love to.

I'm thinking about everything I haven't said in my life and the people I need to say it to.

I'm thinking about the nature of hate and how much more energy it requires.

I'm thinking about the half finished pictures in my dresser that I desperately want to finish. I'm thinking about making art with my hands or my voice. I'm thinking that if everyone had just a little more art in their life, maybe they'd stop trying to escape it.

I'm wondering what someone would see if they saw my future or read my palm. If they saw my aura or read my soul. Who am I?

I want people to know that soulmates aren't always lovers and that I've found mine in my best friend. I want people to know that I don't date so often because I'm a whore, but because I love to share love and because people need to be taught that love is love and all love is good.

I want to teach and be taught, lead and be led, I want to have everyone I love to have everything they need regardless of cost to myself.

I want to know how a dog can be a better father than a man and how a daughter can be so disinterested.

I long to know why I never feel attached to the world unless I'm with the right people. Why are some people anchors and some balloons?

Apr. 28th, 2009

I wish that I could paint the world
In shades of green and gold
And did you know, my dearest love
That your soul has long been sold?

I think I'm dying
[she says one day]
And you complicate my little world
So could you go away?

She says the sun is more than God
And winter less than June
She sees no point in being Nice
Since nice is < good.

I'm not sure how they go together yet, and I know there are stanza's missing, but this is what I have so far.

Mar. 25th, 2009

How'd we end up here in this foreign nation?

I'm having an urge to write. And write and write and write. But, I have no subject. Nothing. Thus, where ya'll come in.

If you could just send me two or three lines, anything. Something sweet, or silly or sad, or even just poetic, thank you. Something original. I plan to make a poem out of them. ^_^

On a completely different note: You guys should check out Ladytron and Culture Queer. Apple in Stereo isn't bad either, just a little poppy for me.

Night and loves.

Feb. 7th, 2009

Dear you,

You are infuriating, you know that right? In the last two years you've gone from being a lover to an asshole, to someone I forgot why I hated, to someone I've forgiven. And now...I don't know. You make my heart ache. Yes, you're beautiful. There's a reason I love James so much, after all, he looks so much like you. But you're also cold, uncaring, and callous. I could never love you again. I just...I had to get that out there.

Signed,
Me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear you,

Why? Why won't you go away? Get the message? Yes! Yes I'm ignoring you! I won't talk to you until you grow up and admit that you're not mentally stable. You have a death wish and an unhealthy obsession with me. Leave me in peace! Find someone else to plan out your life with because I want no part of it! Be gone!

Me.

Oct. 30th, 2008

Halp?

Title: Untitled
Author's Name: Athena
Disclaimer: I do not own Heroes, nor do I own any of the song lyrics used in my fic.
Warnings: Swearing
Ratings: Teen
Characters: Peter, Sylar
Summary: Sylar takes a good, long look at himself and his view of a certain Petrelli
Author's Note: I took creative license with Silvertide's song Blue Jeans.

Ask if he's a saint and he'll get down on his knees and pray.

He'd always wondered, always dreamed of the sight. The smaller man on his knees before him, covered in blood and sweat, looking so defiant, so angry, but beautiful as only he could.

Don't touch me, please, I cannot stand the way you tease.

It had started innocently (Sylar snorted. Innocent, sure. Because attempted murder was so innocent.) enough. That moment in Odessa when this seemingly weak little man had stood before him, between him and his prize, daring Sylar to try and hurt him even though he couldn't control his own abilities, couldn't stop the damage that would be done to him.

I need to feel your body moving on me.

He'd started wishing for it then. As the months passed and they fought more often, a mad tangle of limbs and power and feelings so intoxicating Sylar got high just from being around the man, the wishing got worse. Less about the powers and the mind that held them, more about the casing, hard and lean in all the right places. Less about blood and chaos and more about sex, about claiming him, marking him so the world knew who his keeper was.

When I dream, I'm doing you all night. Scratches all down my back to keep me right on.

That night in Kirby Plaza, it had felt so good, knowing he was there because of Sylar. Knowing that he was watching him, focusing all his attention on him. It had felt good right up until Hiro had stabbed him, and even then. Watching the other man go nuclear, glowing with that dangerous white light...it had been beautiful and reckless and oh, so addictive. Sylar was hooked, ruined for anyone else, for everyone else.

My body is your body, I won't tell anybody. If you wanna use my body, go for it.

He'd almost been physically sick the first time Maya, sweet, innocent, naïve Maya had touched him, even more so when she'd kissed him. It was all wrong. She was too soft, too gentle too ... weak. He wished it had been him, strong and dangerous, headstrong and much too rash, never willing to back down, even when the games grew too dangerous, the risks too much.

Tonight I love you but tomorrow go away.

When he'd first been assigned to HRG he'd been willing to do anything the man said as long as he'd be allowed inside that goddamn bank. He had to see the other man, had to see his face. He'd have changed so much since the last time they'd fought he had to see. His fantasies demanded it. He'd almost screamed when he discovered the other man was gone. Disappeared moments before Sylar had arrived.

Every roommate kept awake by every sigh and scream we make.

A week later he was there, in his cell, shot out of a different time and bearing Sylar's power, his hunger for more, more knowledge, more power, more everything. Finally, there was something there, something similar in their interests. Sylar laughed as the smaller man launched him into a wall, holding him there with his hands and mind, so angry he never noticed Sylar's appreciative glance at his abs.

Take what you need to turn you on.

He'd been screaming at him, obscenities, curses, just babbling really. Sylar had to make his move now, surprise was a necessary element to his plot. Without it he'd never get his chance and he would have to watch the smaller man walk away yet again. In seconds his prey shifted from anger to confusion as Sylar broke his hold and grabbed the other man, crushing him to his chest in order to better pilage that luscious mouth. The same mouth that spat insults at him constantly, had just been doing that very thing, the mouth he'd dreamed of kissing, of using, of owning for months.

“I want you. Need you...Love you, Peter. I Love you.”



Okie dokie people, I need NEED you to review this. Even if you don't know the characters, I want to know what you guys think. I want honest opinions, if you think it's shit, dandy. I'll rework it. Just PLEASE review it guys. I'm thinking about posting this on FFN but I'm not going to bother if it's not any good. And right now my paranoia is telling me it sucks.

Oct. 23rd, 2008

Fuck you apple, fuck you

*ahem* that is all.

I can play as angry and dirty and sexy as I want!

Today (technically yesterday) wasn't so bad. I stayed home sick thanks to my allergies though. Apparently I forgot I'm allergic to milk. >.< *headpalm* I slept until about noon, got up, surfed on iTunes for awhile hoping to use up the rest of my iTunes card (which I did) and then went back to sleep until 4:30, at which point I filled out an application for Hollywood Video and promptly fell asleep again until 6ish. Which is probably why I can't sleep right now. *sigh* Oh well, my new macbook, ANne (Accounting Nightmare) has a 4 hour battery life.

Life has been going pretty good lately. Some highs and lows of the last couple of weeks/months

Got addicted to guitar hero
Taylor got kicked out and moved in with me
Got A's on both of my English Comp essays
Got addicted to Heroes/Fell in love with Sylar
Found bands like Alice in Videoland, Aqua, and Freezepop
Discovered a deep rooted dislike of Taylor's sleazy boyfriend
My Dell died after four years of service... with all my music/favorites on it. Damn.
Got a new macbook, which is shiny and beautiful
Saw Tessa for the first time since x-mas last year
Found out Tessa wants me to meet her boyfriend who knows she's still in love with me and thinks I'm kind of hot. (EEK!)

That's... pretty much everything.

Well, I'm going to try to sleep, but don't be surprised if there's another entry here soon.

Oct. 19th, 2008

Dear You,

I want to start this letter off with a statement, small, but honest in it's simplicity: I forgive you. I hope you understand why I'm forgiving you. It's not because I'm being bribed or threatened or even begged by Ace or Alex, but rather for two reasons. First, it is simply too exhausting to continue hating you. It used to be everything that went wrong was your fault. If I failed a test, it was your fault. The toilet's clogged? Your fault. Taylor's boyfriend was cheating on her? Damn you. To be honest, I cursed you first thing every morning and last thing before bed. The second reason is because I understand why you did what you did. You've lost so much in your life, homes, pets, friends, and family, that you've become a scared little boy. What do children do when they fear they're going to lose something? They either cling to it until they are certain it will remain theirs or they destroy the item in question so that no one else can have it.

That is what you tried to do to me, isn't it? When we broke up, you decided that, since I'm gay and you quite obviously couldn't keep me, you'd destroy me so that no one else could have me. You failed of course, but the effort was there nonetheless. You very nearly were successful. Two suicide attempts, three fist fights and the addition of Prozac to my life were the results.

Do not misunderstand, just because I'm forgiving you does not mean that I ever wish to see or talk to you again. You are not trusted and I doubt you ever will be again. I just want you to understand that I forgive you. And I suppose that I'm sorry. I am sorry that you felt so fearful of coming back to a place you consider home because of me and my hatred. I am not, however, sorry about anything else. I meant everything I ever said to you. You are a liar and a jerk. You drove me to attempt suicide, though I doubt anyone ever informed you of that.

On Halloween I'll be dropping by your place on my way to Wes's party in order to drop off a box. Inside you will find every love letter, every piece of jewelry, everything you ever gave me, save the few pieces I have lost over the last year and a half. They are yours to do what you will with them. Burn them or keep them, it doesn't matter to me. I already realize that I will likely never forget you and therefore I shouldn't even try.

I wish to close my letter in the same fashion that I opened it: with a small but honest statement. Despite my forgiveness and apologies (which you will likely pass off as lies anyways) I am pleased that you still fear me, and hope for the best for you. Remember though, you will never again affect my life, but I will forever affect yours.

Signed,
Me
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Sep. 19th, 2008

Random Story

The sign that resides on the outskirts of town reads "Welcome to Fife Lake!" What it should say is, "Welcome to Hell." Ok, so maybe I'm exaggerating a bit. (After all, Hell, Michigan is about 50 miles west of us.) Fife has a population of roughly 394. Not the smallest as far as little towns go, but by no means are we a bustling metropolis. Now, you can imagine that, as a small town in the middle of nowhere, it's not everyday someone new moves in. I don't think I'll ever forget that day.
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"Child! Get up! You're going to be late."

I groaned and rolled out of bed, rubbing my eyes with my palm as I tried to reach my dresser. I withdrew a pair of faded blue jeans and hopped into them, trying to pull both them and a t-shirt over my head at the same time. I jammed my feet into my ratty tennis shoes, grabbed my bookbag, and ran. It's always amazed me how many freshman a year jump in alarm as I slam into the commons, running (and sliding) across the tiled floor to reach first hour in time. Every day for the past three years, this has been the ritual. Some days I thought of it with disdain. After drama I would head to whatever second hour class I had that quarter, followed by third and fourth hour. Lunch would be spent playing cards with the guys and listening to music (I never had time to eat, so why bother?) before heading off to hours 5-8. At which point I would turn around and run home so I could maybe catch some sleep before going out to work.

I hauled ass to the drama room, arriving 15 seconds before the bell. My friend Reno looked up at me, flicking his bangs out of his face in annoyance.

"You didn't have to rush, you know. Sub. We're not doing anything today."

I stuck my tongue out at him as I dropped onto the floor beside him. Alexx, another childhood friend of mine turned and grinned at me, excited as a kid at Christmas.

"Yo, Han, you heard about the new chick?"

Reno raised an eyebrow at his brother then looked at me, sighing as we both shook our heads. Alexx practically wet his pants in joy as he spun to look at us, settling down only to tell us the full details of the newbie.

"Haven't managed to catch her name yet, but she's a real cutie," he paused here to waggle his eyebrows at me in a very suggestive manner. "Heard it said she's from way out there. San Fran or something of the like. And, she's supposed to be in here this hour." All this was said in less then a minute.

I looked around the room but saw only familiar faces; faces I had seen since I was five years old. I started to open my mouth and snap at Alexx for being stupid when the door opened and in walked what was, apparently, the new girl. Her head swiveled one way, then the other, before she took out one of her head phones and said, "Yo."

She then turned around and walked back out. The entire thing couldn't have lasted more than a minute. All 24 of were struck speechless as the sound of the oak door slamming shut echoed through the room. When someone finally spoke it was Reno with a simple, "Well damn."
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I was late. Again. It was one in the afternoon for fuck's sake and I was late. My first four classes had gone on in similiar fashions, sometimes she popped into the room (with a junior class of 50, it's hard not to have someone in at least 2 of your 8 classes) and sometimes it was just talk about her, but it seemed like everywhere I went, so was she.

I burst into the stairwell, intent upon getting to Sociology before Drake decided to kill me and feed me to the freshman when I stumbled onto a very...unique scene. There she was, whatever her name was, in her own little world of music and movement. She danced gracefully across the floor, her body swaying and moving like smoke from a newly blown out candle. I watched as she tripped mid-motion and went flying and rushed to catch her lest she knock hersself out. That would be awkward, I thought, me showing up carrying the new girl into the office and explaining, "Well see, I caught her dancing but she tripped and hit her head. Yes I know Mrs. Rona, I'm supposed to be in Drake's class but-No Mrs. Rona, I'm not using this as an excuse and-" ugh. What a nightmare.

I dove and lost what little breath I had left in my chest as she landed on my back, shooting back up with an, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry are you okay? Please answer me, I'm sorry!"

I rolled over and nodded to show I was alright before tentatively sitting back up and attempting to breathe. I stuck my hand out to her saying, "Hannelore Quinn. Y tu?"
She laughed at my poor spanish as she grasped my hand.

"Yelana Flock. And it's pronounced Ee Too."

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Okies guys, it's me, graphic_nun. I'm a little brain dead right now, and I know that, while I need an ending to my short story, I can't think of one right now. Please, please, PLEASE give me feedback. Tell me how I can improve it, what you like, what you dislike, any errors you see, anything that will make this better. ^_^
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Sep. 15th, 2008

I'll think of a reason later.

Today was my great-grandpa Teddy's funeral. Yesterday at the wake I heard countless step-relatives speak about his legacy. About what kind of person he was and heard numerous stories about him. Sadly, I was not given an opportunity to speak. I know I wanted to, but I'm not sure what I would have said. I saw Grandpa Teddy twice a year, at christmas and easter.

I was thinking about my memories of him, of the things I'll remember him by. I suppose, the strongest memories I have or these:

When I was 4 or 5 I was trick-or-treating with Grandpa Teddy and Grandma Alice. That night, I informed Grandpa teddy his name couldn't be teddy. A teddy was a kind of bear and he was most certainly NOT a bear. He just laughed and laughed. Thought it was the cutest damn thing.

I'll never forget how happy he was the day of my baptism. Mom and I asked him and Grandma Alice to be my godparents. Grandpa Teddy was overjoyed.

The last memory I have of him spans years. Every time I saw him since the time I was ten the first thing he would ask me was, "Do you have a boyfriend yet?" I'd smile and shake my head and he'd inform anyone who'd listen it was because I was picky. I must be beating these guys away with sticks. It makes me sad that he never got the chance to meet any of my boyfriends, and even worse, that I never got the chance to tell him I'd never have another boyfriend again. (Of course, as an old Catholic, he wouldn't have understood, but still.)

Rest in Peace Grandpa Teddy. I'll miss you.

Jul. 3rd, 2008

Just for you Ardi.

1. Come up with 101 interesting or little known facts about you and post them in your journal.
2. Tag at least one other person to do this too.

1. Thanks to Kaitlyn, whenever I watch Star Wars, I look for "That's What She Said" jokes.

2. I would go barefoot all the time if people would let me.

3. Whenever I'm with my friends in public I wonder how many people think we're crazy. The best part is, we're not even trying that hard.

4. I'm afraid that people are right and I am nothing but a burden to my mother.

5. Even on the days I don't think I look pretty, I still think I look awesome in my own way.

6. I sleep with 15 stuffed animals. And almost all of them are couples.

7. When I was little, whenever someone made me say I'm sorry, I'd burst into tears as I said it.

8. I won't eat/drink something if I don't like the way it smells. I'm afraid this means I'll never experience everything I want to.

9. When I was 3 my mom tried to abandon me in a shopping mall. When I was 10 she told me she never wanted me. When I was 12 she drove to a McDonalds after a fight, dropped me off and left me there for an hour. I don't think I'll ever forgive her completely for those things.

10. I really good at memorizing and learning things I care about.

11. I love to dance, but I'm not very good at it.

12. I have lockliophobia, or the fear of childbirth.

13. My favorite cousins are Chris and Dan. Once Tony and Joey stole hobbes from me. Chris and Dan beat them up until they gave him back to me. They also beat the hell out of tony after he did what he did to me.

14. I hate half my family because they ignore me.

15. I don't think I've ever been more proud of my mom then when she told me she quit her job to go back to college.

16. I believe in karma.

17. I try and make eye contact with people when I talk to them. Some people are kind of uncomfortable with it, but it helps me read their reactions.

18. I believe in a female deity that makes her subjects out of clay. And I comfort myself by saying that she isn't just a woman, she's also imperfect.

19. I spend time teaching myself to do useless things. However, I can now quirk my eyebrows, wiggle my ears, and do a perfect imitation of Harley Quinn.

20. I've never been able to decide on a favorite food, color, name, book, movie, or video game.

21. I name inanimate objects. My butterfly knife is named Cloud, my psp is Yuffie, my Sword is called Haru, and my slippers are ruby and Garnet.

22. It's been 6 months since the last time I cut and I've never felt better.

23. I am not at all a morning person.

24. Non-organic milk makes me sick.

25. I'm really bad at baseball, dodgeball, and pretty much all sports. I wish I wasn't though. Since Hapkido, I'm starting to believe that maybe I don't have to be bad at them, but I don't have anyone to teach me to be better. I'm too afraid to join a sports team.

26. If my mommy's dog dislikes you, you had best have driven yourself to meet me, because you are certainly not staying in my house.

27. I like to try to guess things about people before I ever talk to them, then introduce myself and see how right I was.

28. I find car rides soothing. I sleep well during them, think the best during them, and see the most amazing things.

29. I'm not very patient with children, but I'm making myself learn.

30. I wish on kitty whiskers, pennies, birthday candles, shooting stars, necklace clasps, eyelashes, and rainbows.

31. I love my uncle, but I hate the man he's become.

32. I wish I had the courage to stand up to the people I dislike and tell them what I really think of them.

33. I hate to run. Walking is fine. I love to play tennis or soccer. I adore swimming. But Running? Nu-uh.

34. It took me six years, but I now have 3 furballs to prove that wishes do come true.

35. I am no one's pet.

36. I like silver much better than gold.

37. In my mind, being called Baby means I'm being cheated on. Baby girl is fine, but baby isn't.

38. I have what my friends call MADD-- Musical Attention Deficite Disorder

39. I'm more excited about Taylor drawing me something for my birthday than I was last year when she bought me something.

40. The one place I feel most at home is the pottery room at school. No one ever judges me there, because art is art and all art is different. My art doesn't care that I'm gay or a geek. It doesn't care what I'm wearing or if my hair is messy. I never have to put on make-up to feel appreciated by my art. If I could, I'd never leave that room.

41. I'm socially awkward, but I feel that I could have more friends if I truly gave two wits what people at school thought of me.

42. I'm an extremely sexual person. Kyle and Anthony took advantage of it, kevin ignored it, and tim didn't care. I'm not sure which pisses me off more. Being ignored or taken advantage of.

43. The Group is: Ardi, Anthony, Wesley, Emilie, and I.

44. Any day I can sleep for more than 4 or 5 hours without the use of sleeping pills is an amazing day.

45. I hate the cold. I HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT!

46. I've always had a desire to go to Athens and watch people gawk after they hear my name.

47. I steal letters (like a, y, z, ect) from the people I love the most.

48. I'm sort of an international parrot. If I can hear you say it, I can copy your accent, inflection, and pronunciation.

49. Taylor and I will sometimes spend all our time psychoanalyzing my dreams. The best part is: we think it's fun!

50. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm not as intelligent as I think I am.

51. Whenever I see my ex-boyfriends face, I get a strong urge to punch it. (Even if I just see it on the computer)

52. I can't look at a piece of art without touching it. I've never been able to.

53. I love to cook, but I'm so lazy that the only thing I ever make is Ramen or grilled chicken.

54. Whenever I get nervous I do one of three things: a) hide behind my hair b) talk too much or c) chew on my lip till it bleeds

55. My first homosexual experience was with a girl I never quite got over.

56. He scares the shit out of me, but I still think he's fucking beautiful.

57. I frequently crave cheeseburgers at midnight.

58. I wrote my all time favorite poem at a John Mayer concert on a scrap of paper from my purse and a napkin.

59. My biggest addictions are to the most harmless things.

60. I have no fucking clue how to ride a bike.

61. I love to swim, but I never really learned how.

62. The perfume I wear is actually a piece of ambergris I got in Colorado with Ardi. I really want to go back there soon.

63. When I was five, I took ballet, jazz, and tap dance. I hated all of them a quit 2 years later. Now I wish I hadn't.

64. I can't fit all of my books onto my bookshelf and that makes me really sad.

65. I'm a depressed schizophrenic with insomnia. Any questions?

66. I have a fondness for Japanese Kwaiden (Scary folk stories) and Irish Fairy tales

67. I sleep the best to the sounds of rain

68. I only make fudge for people I love.

69. I bite my cuticals because L does it. >.<

70. Yes I am a lesbian. NO you cannot watch.

71. I'm crazy about sweetarts. ^_^

72. I've never really been one for journaling.

73. I'm amazingly paranoid. I sleep with a bat under bed. XD

75. The best kinds of jokes are dirty ones in my mind.

76. I'm afraid to sleep in silence and darkness.

77. I'm afraid there's someone reading this right now thinking, "this is stupid".

78. I've always known how to break into my own home.

79. Ditto was always my favorite Pokemon.

80. I'm a ninja at finding people on the internet.

81. My first e-mail address was designed by my mommy and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

82. Lettuce has a taste, you're all just crazy.

83. My least favorite candy ever is deffinately hot tamales.

84. I have the tiniest feet ever.

85. I sleep on my side with one arm wrapped around my puppy.

86. I'm not really a red-head, but I hate being blonde.

87. I have only one secret from my friends and I'm terrified to tell them.

89. I dislike the word "thesbian. I like the words "spork" and "delicious" though.

90. When I'm really angry I burst into tears and scream at the same time.

91. Root beer is the best soda on earth.

92. I think drunk or high people are hilarious but stupid as hell.

93. Ardi's not good at telling people what she thinks. I suck at it.

94. My favorite Bath and Bodyworks scent is Country Apple.

95. I think I'm an only child, but I'm never really quite sure.

96. I wear rings to keep me from feeling naked

97. I still sleep with my first stuffed animal. =X

98. I am a well of useless information.

99. I collect art like some collect rocks.

100. If it ever takes mom more than 5 minutes to come back I worry she's leaving me.

101. In text messages, I use full sentences, commas, capitalization, and no chat speak.

Jun. 18th, 2008

More things I wanna do...

I want to learn Latin Dance. I want to teach my child that people who say she can't do something say that because they're afraid that she can. I want to learn to play the Viola and shepards pipes. I want to have warm winter nights, snuggled up to the woman I love in front of a roaring fire. I want to be able to call my best friend without worrying what my mother will say.

I want to see an age where gays can marry. Where we can hold hands and kiss in public without fear of being lynched. I want my children and grandchildren to inherit most of my things, from my books to my photos, my masks and sculptures. I want to one day go to the Summer Arts Festival with more money than I could ever spend.

I want to go dancing with my friends in a high end club without worrying how stupid I look. I want for men to try pick-up lines on me, funny ones, cheesy ones, sweet ones and stupid ones. I want to see a world where I won't have to worry if the drink I just bought has GHB or Arsenic in it.

I want to go see all my favorite musicals on broadway. I want to have a bright blue house in a state full of oranges and browns. I want to be the "Cool pagan lady" on my block. I wanna be the house that all of the children wanna hit on halloween because I give out the best candy in town.

I want to learn to blow glass and weld. I want to have a workshop in my basement full of half-thrown pots, bits of colored glass and pieces of engines. I want to one day own a porsche that my girlfriend and I customized.

I want to be a vegetarian for a whole week, just to prove I can. I want to give other animals good homes and warm beds and full tummies. I want to start up a no-kill animal shelter right here in town.

I want to one day learn to shoot. I want for my co-workes to prank me at work by filling my locker with packing peanuts or the freezer with rubber chickens. I want for my life to be full of fun and love and laughter and LIFE!

I want to be free of the person I expect me to be
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